We've all been there.
It's that sinking feeling that that makes you nervous. You can't sit still. You can't think straight.
I'm talking about the not being able to find something you really need feeling. It could be that pendrive with the assignment inside and you don't have another copy of it. It could be your mom's necklace that you 'borrowed' one day. Or it could be your sister's hand phone charger. Whatever it is, it's important. And you need it urgently. And YOU CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IT. This happened to me about half an hour ago. And when it happens, I find myself to be in this same cycle of steps.
1) THINK and SEARCH
What would you do? You would try to think logically of where on EARTH that object would be. You rummage your bags, your brains, your mom's bags, your neighbours luggage because you absolutely need it urgently. You call the Royal Air Force to help you get a bird's eye view. You hire a Private investigator. You page for Superman, Batman and Edward Cullen. You need all the help you can get. You search EVERYWHERE! If you're looking for a pendrive, you'll probably look under your classmate's aquarium, in the kitchen sink, in your sister's mouth...EVERYWHERE! No place is too ridiculous, no place is too far, no place your hands won't search nor feet won't go. Desperation, I tell you. You search and you search but with each passing second you are more convinced that the object in mind will never be seen again.
Then your imagination goes wild.
2) Paranoia kicks in
"Why can' I find my pencil box? Did I leave it behind? Gasp! I must have left it behind in the ____!!!! Argh!! Then someone must have threw it away because they thought it was garbage! Oh no! People are thinking that my pencil box is that ugly! I have bad taste! Sob sob sob! Or maybe someone stole it! But why would they do that? Do people hate me?! Oh noes! What did I do?!?!! Maybe I should write an apology letter to everyone! How how how!!!"
And suddenly your fear turns into whether people really hate you that much to the extent they will steal your notes.
Yes, the object I lost this morning was my notes. Constructive trust notes. And I have Equity and Trust Law tutorial today. It's no big, just a few pages, but trust me, it didn't feel like just a few pages to me in that frenzy.
3) Self-comforting
Trying to be matured about the situation, you would tell yourself that this is not the worst that can happen. That you should be grateful that you have a roof on top of your head, 4 limbs and bottles of Luo Han Guo in the kitchen still. And you decide that it's okay, you'll print the notes again, go through the hassle of understanding the subject content again...but it's okay. Because there's nothing you can do and you should be matured about it and not run around the house in panic.
But all the while, you feel so lost without the missing item. And as if it was a friend that moved to the other side of the earth, you reminisce the times you spent together and regret taking that object for granted. Suddenly, it seems so real, so meaningful, so wonderful and important in your life and you have to think of a game plan of how you're going to live the rest of your life without it. Suddenly, it seems like a real person. Well, for me anyway. HAHA. Shhh...Our little secret. ;)
4) The pot of gold
This, I tell you, is the most epic moment ever. For so many of my missing items, I would go through steps 1-3. And I never would expect that step 4 would come. In my frenzy of looking for it, I would suddenly see it. Could it be? It can't be. Or could it? Cheh, like drama. I would actually FIND it. Sometimes in the most unexpected places. The background music swells along with the tears in my eyes. My eyes would glow, my heart would race and a smile just naturally forms on my mouth.
Yes.
Finding my notes today in between the page of my module handout was such a joy.
I literally let out a small/large scream because of the relief and happiness after all that suppressed emotion and if there were any around, people will think I'm crazy. :(
But come on! What incomparable joy!
It's a surprise I didn't wake the neighbours up. Oh, such euphoria. And then when you think back of the turmoil you went through the past half an hour, you would feel like you have been on an adventure, an experience, a journey, and have been through an event that you will pass on from one generation to another. And you'll tell your grandkids how grandma went on this escapade alone at 4 in the morning but made it alive to tell the story with no evidence of her bravery save the battle scars emotionally. And you wave and accept a bouquet of roses from a non-existant crowd that applauds your inspiring story. And you start wondering what you'll do with the money you'll get when your biography sells better than Twilight books. And you slap yourself and tell yourself that you have to prepare for an Equity and Trust tutorial.
Reaching that final satisfying end of sweet success is just....indescribable.
Sigh,
The end.
Muax muax muax. I love my constructive trust notes. *hugs* =)
5:11AM
2/3/11
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